A New Van, the Policeman, and Miniscule (or Mighty?) Miracles

 This has been a great year for car trouble.  First the old '94 Suburban quit working, and we haven't been able to locate the new part we need...(anyone know where I can get a cheap alternator bracket? Oh, and I'd like the RIGHT alternator bracket, too, not the wrong ones that the lovely part stores keep ordering in.)  So it-the Suburban-is, therefore,  parked and going nowhere.  Then the registration was revoked on the big old Ford 250 truck because the "Check Engine" light is stuck on.  Then the registration was revoked on the little car (a Subaru? Honda? Toyota?  I don't know what it is) because it didn't pass emissions...I mean, what's a girl to do??? Quit driving???  So we started looking on Craigslist for a new family van.  We found one, and on Memorial Day morning, I drove over to my father-in-law's house to drop off the kids with grandma & to go look at the van with gramps.  And my, what a memorable Memorial Day it turned out to be...

On the way to Grandpa & Grandma Hansen's, I got pulled over.  I had the 4 kids, Travis was at work, and I was driving his  little car because the truck was acting up and I didn't dare drive it. 3 car seats don't fit in the back seat, so Zoe and Abbee were in the back with car seats, and Zac was buckled in the middle without a car seat, and Lizzie was in a car seat in the front.  So the officer says, "Do you know your registration has been revoked on this?" 
I answered, "Yes, I do.  It failed emissions and my husband has tried fixing it several times, but it won't pass inspection still."  Then I pulled the Craigslist ad out of my purse and showed him the van we were going to see and said, "That's why I am headed to see this."
"Well, I'm sorry, but I have to give you a ticket for that, it's $94."  So then some silly little tears started sneaking out of my eyeballs, and I said, "OK, I understand."  Then he looked in the back seat and asked how old the kids are.  I told him, and he said, "I also have to give you a $79  ticket for your 6 year old being out of a car seat. Can I ask you why he isn't in one?"  I told him I couldn't make 3 car seats fit back there.  He said, "Well, why don't you all get out and let me see what I can do."  So we all get out, standing at the side of the road in downtown Meridian with everyone we know driving by with the cops lights flashing and the cop half in and half out of our car.  He had the kids get in one by one as he wiggled seats and buckled them in.  He made it work, and Lizzie was old enough to be up front with no car seat. 
"There!  he said, "Now I don't have to give you that ticket, but the other one I still do.  Can I see your insurance and registration cards?"
So I opened the jockey box, hoping it was all in there, and out tumbled all these big giant bullets...ugh...
Him-"Ummm, so what are all the (rifle shells or shotgun shells can't remember what he called them)  for?" 
 Me- "Uhh...I REALLY have no idea.  This is my husbands car." (You know, when all else fails, blame someone else.)
Him-"You have no idea?"
Me-"Not really, well, maybe he used them to shoot antelope in Wyoming, but I'm not sure."
"These look kind of slow for shooting antelope."
"Well, then, I don't know what he shoots with them."
"Well, can I see one of them?"
"Sure."  and as I hand him one, I notice they are all sticky and greasy and gross.  "Umm...they are kind of dirty." I say as I hand him one.
"What is this residue on them?"
I take a deep breath "It's...uhhhh...peanut...oil?
"Peanut oil?"
"Yeah. Peanut oil."
He looks at me quizzically and says, "Why do they have peanut oil on them?"
(Really?  Do I have to tell this STUPID story???? But I couldn't think of anything better, so I had to just tell him the dad-gummed STUPID truth.)  I take another deep breath. "My husband's hunting vest hangs on a nail in the garage and apparently it fell off the hook sometime over the winter and landed in a bucket.  And sometime else the big jug of peanut oil for frying a turkey fell off the  shelf and landed upside down in the bucket and broke open and the bucket with my husband hunting vest and lots of those big bullets in the pockets filled up with peanut oil.  We couldn't salvage the hunting vest, but his lucky hunting hat is ok, and he wiped the giant bullets off and unbeknownst to me put them in the jockey box, and they are apparently still greasy."
Me-(silently praying, waiting for the handcuffs.....)
"Well, I'm going to go back to my car and [laugh my head off] check out your information, so just sit still for a while."  What? While he calls the SWAT team?  What if Trav's guns are in the back?  Is that illegal????
Then Zoe (age 5) hands me up her handful of coins.  "Here, mom, you can have my money to pay the ticket.  Do you have to go to jail now?"
"No, honey I'm not going to jail." (I HOPE!!!)

Well, the nice officer finally came back, and said, "Everything checks out.  I'm just giving you warnings today, but someone else might pull you over.  Get this car fixed, ok?"
"OK"
So we bought the mini van, my husband fixed the little car so it finally passed emissions, and we are now the proud owners of two, yes, you read that right TWO legally licensed vehicles.  From 0 to 2 in a day and a half.  That's a mighty miracle indeed! Oh, and the no tickets?  That is another mighty miracle!
And that is my story.